I never knew what it was like for someone to have my back … I never allowed myself to be cared for or protected that way in a relationship.’
So I Sandra Bullock said shortly before the news of her husband’s infidelity oozed into the public arena.
She barely had eight days in which to enjoy her Best Actress Oscar victory before a woman called Michelle McGee, who uses the word ‘Bombshell’ as her middle name, sold her story for $30,000 to a tabloid newspaper.
Sandra reportedly found out that her husband was cheating on her via her publicist. The story of how America’s Sweetheart was betrayed by a man, Jesse James, who was simply not good enough for her, turned out to be the one that was played out over and over again in 2010 - the Year of The Love Rat.
There are almost too many examples to list of this species who emerged, drooling, during last year, but here goes.
There was Tiger Woods, who cheated on his blonde, beautiful wife, the mother of his children, with a succession of waitresses and porn stars.
Footballers Wayne Rooney, Peter Crouch and Ashley Cole all played away from home.
Pop stars Mark Owen, Howard Donald and Ronan Keating ...
No matter how ugly or outwardly wholesome.
In the autumn David Arquette - the nerdy, B-list actor eclipsed by his far more famous sisters Rosanna and Patricia - had cheated on his wife, the luminously beautiful Courteney Cox. His excuse for dating a barmaid was that Courteney had mummied him too much! And then there was Tony Parker, who betrayed Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria. The same Eva who has been telling us all that ‘We are worth it’, but who obviously had settled for second best when it came to her relationship.
The list is seemingly endless, but the stories are mostly the same. A hugely successful, beautiful woman who is enjoying a career high is brought crashing back to earth by a man who has been feeling emasculated by her prowess.
Now, of course, I am going to tell you there is a pattern to all this: the women these men choose to cheat with are always inferior to the woman they promised to worship.
While their wives are movie stars, TV stars or the ‘nation’s sweetheart’ with a No 1 record, the mistresses are waitresses, porn stars or prostitutes.
Should we find it comforting that the women these men, and our men, cheat with are inferior to us?
Should we find it comforting that the women these men, and our men, cheat with are inferior to us?
I once comforted myself with this fact.
I am sure Courteney Cox et al pore over photos of their rivals, measuring themselves against them and finding, probably, that, yes, these women are not as beautiful, or as clever, or even as nice as
The Year Of The Love Rat has taught us that when men cheat, it is never about finding someone better. No, no, no. It is about finding someone inferior, who they can boss, lord it over, humiliate, dominate. And the more successful, the more fabulous the wife, the more the man will want to subvert her, to get his own back for being made to feel small
I met a woman just before Christmas who told me she never goes to events because her husband is always made to feel uncomfortable because it’s always her name that is called out by the crowd and photographers, not his.
The Year Of The Love Rat has taught us that when men cheat, it is never about finding someone better. No, no, no. It is about finding someone inferior, who they can boss, lord it over, humiliate, dominate. And the more successful, the more fabulous the wife, the more the man will want to subvert her, to get his own back for being made to feel small
I met a woman just before Christmas who told me she never goes to events because her husband is always made to feel uncomfortable because it’s always her name that is called out by the crowd and photographers, not his.
Why do we make allowances for their neuroses, time and time again? My view is that if a man is not strong enough to deal with a woman who earns more than he does or attracts more attention, then he is not worth having.
But what the inferiority of all these hideous, whorish mistresses really shows us is not how great we are, but how lame and unimaginative men are. How wide is the chasm that separates us from the woman our husband really wants. And as women continue to beat men in the classroom and business, then the more, I fear, he will retreat or ‘down-date’.
What I find disappointing, too, is that even if you have money, a lovely house and top-notch job, style and genuine love for your other, you can still be unlucky in love.
So if Courteney Cox, Sandra Bullock, Eva Longoria or Cheryl Cole can’t keep a man, what hope is there for the rest of us?
On the plus side, I’ve noticed another trend — one that might signal some sort of karmic retribution.
A man who has been caught cheating instantly loses his looks. Wasn’t Mark Owen always the cute one in Take That, the one we all fancied? Not any more. He looks old and tired. Lying and cheating takes up so much energy, after all.
While the wronged women, without exception, always emerge looking far more fabulous than they ever did before.
Of course, these women have had days when they were unable to get out of their dressing gown and could only be bothered to eat dry cereal out of the box if anything.
But while it was their strength, resolve and single-mindedness that probably meant they were cheated on in the first place, at least these are the very qualities that will get them out of the mire.
The best revenge on these awful men is, after all, to be happy without them.
